Rooted & Grounded

"I am going to try to pay attention to the spring.  I am going to look around at all the flowers and look up at the hectic trees.  I am going to close my eyes and listen."

- Anne Lamott

"Many people commit to a 120 percent life and wonder why the burden feels so heavy."

- Richard Swenson

A helpful tool to reflect on 2020 and find hope for 2021

"I can do things you cannot, you can do things I cannot; together we can do great things."

Mother Teresa

"There is no grief like the grief that does not speak."  Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"All things are difficult before they are easy."  Thomas Fuller

by Ana Gomez

"There is no grief like the grief that does not speak."  Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"Embrace your grief, for there your soul will grow."  Carl Jung

A Global Invitation to Expand Your Soul

What your clients need most, especially now.

What could be getting in the way of your child's growth.

What relationships might need before they can grow.

What looks "good" might need to go.

How we can look back to help us as we look ahead.

How can we open our hands to let go and receive just a little more.

The most important way to be true to ourselves can't exclude the care for others.

The most important question to ask may be the hardest to answer.

The path forward may go back to the beginning

The path forward may look different than expected

The path forward starts with parents

The path to getting un-stuck may surprise you

from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

And When They Might Not

What would happen if I treated my partner the way I want to be treated?

As always, I hope the questions from the last blog post were thought-provoking, helpful and an encouraging step toward getting on the same parenting page.

Over the next two weeks, I want to look at why it can be so difficult to feel unified with your co-parent (regardless of whether you are in a romantic relationship with that person or not).  There are two parts that make up this struggle:  the “parent” side, and the “partner” side.  Let’s take a look at the “parent” side today.

In her book Raising Parents, Patricia McKinsey Crittenden writes, “Parents are children’s primary attachment figures and, as such, they function to promote children’s survival and well-being as well as to prepare children to become attachment figures to their own children.  As with any primary attachment figure, they are irreplaceable…and more dedicated to their children than are any substitutes” (p. 3). 

I believe that 99.99% of parents care deeply and fiercely about protecting, preserving and caring for their children’s well-being.  These parents desperately want their children to grow up into mature, responsible, rational and thriving adults.  They inherently know the weight of being a parent and the love they hold for their children.

And I also believe that when 99.99% of parents see their children misbehave, act inappropriately or do dangerous things, their care for their children turns into a frantic fear that can cover up our best intentions.

“If my child keeps acting this way, will s/he end up homeless and using drugs?” 

“If my child doesn’t learn that being aggressive is wrong, I’m so afraid s/he will turn out to be some horrible person who winds up in jail.”

“If my child hangs out with these people, what will s/he become?  How will other people see her/him?”

I want to offer some simple, helpful tools to support you as you rebuild your home.

I want to offer some simple, helpful tools to support you as you rebuild your home.

During my first session with any new client, I always pose this question:  “Let’s say we’re at the ‘end’ of our time working together (whenever that end date may be).  We look back at our time together in therapy and you say, ‘Wow, that was worth all of the time, money, effort and energy.’  What would we need to have done to make this process worth it?”

I always want to make therapy a worthwhile process for my clients, and I believe that each therapist will have his/her own perspective on how the therapist can help to make therapy as beneficial as possible.

Every month, I want to share a bit of the "blue print" that I use with individuals, couples and families.  

Every month, I want to take some time to respond to a real, honest and authentic question that I have heard in my work with individuals, couples or families.  My hope is that reading these questions and responses will give you encouragement for your own situation and reassurance that you are not alone.